Senior Portraits

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

On the ceiling in my room are 11 plastic glow-in-the-dark stars in different sizes. They are in the shape of the big dipper. When my daughter Nan was around six, (2001)I was going through another though time as far as health goes. I had been diagnosed with a tumor in one of my bones in my right forearm. The doctor diagnosed it as probably being cancer. I was to under go multiple test including a full body bone scan (this would let us know if there were other tumors), a CAT scan, and an MRI. These would all take about a month. Then I would have the surgery in which they would drill into my bone and remove the tumor. Before the surgery, I was told they weren't sure exactly what was going to happen when they got in there. Worst case scenario was I would loose my arm from the elbow down. I spent quite a bit of time in bed while waiting for the surgery. I tried to work as much as I could (waitressing), but being on such high doses of Lortab made it hard to stay awake and hard to concentrate. On night while I was at work, Nan decided that if I was going to have to spend so much time in bed, she was going to give me something to look at. I spent a lot of time looking at that ceiling in the months that followed my surgery. They are still there 13 years later. They are just one of the things that make me happy. I have found it doesn't take much; bubbles in soda, my family, silly things my dogs do, being able to move in the morning. These all make me happy.

E is for Envy

This is a picture of my 2 dogs side by side. The one on the left is Doodle and the other one is Essie.  As you can see, there is a very big difference in size between my dogs. Doodle stands at 31 inches, Essie stands at 11 inches.  It kind of reminds me of myself when I was a teen. Even though I was not an overweight teen, I was a lot bigger than most of my "petite" friends and felt clumsy and awkward in my "big boned" body.   Boy, did I envy some of them. I towered above their 5'1" inch frames at 5'7". They were lucky if they reached 98 lbs, while I was at about 127. Their feet were around size five, mine where size 10. I remember trying to wear shoes a size too small just to fit in. Now that I'm a little older, I have come to realize that my size is part of what makes me "me". Every once in a while, the envy monster still surfaces but then I just remember that I like who I've become, big bones and all.

ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS, STARCH-FREE

Becoming starch-free has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, that means no corn, wheat, peas, beans, rice, potatoes, or any thing that ends in starch (corn starch, etc). This takes out a good portion of food. I have found over the last few months, that even though it is hard, it is something I can do. I have messed up a couple of times, don't we all, but so far I've done pretty good. Many have told me they could never do this, it would be impossible for them. As with anything, it depends on your reason for doing it. When I am starch-free I can move like I have no handicap. This means cycling, rollerskating, hiking, and most of all playing with my kids using no fore-arm canes. My kids are teenagers now and I want to spend as much time as I can with them making great memories. Very soon, they will have families of their own and I want all of us to look back and remember these wonderful times. I have no idea what is in my future when it comes to this disease. But no one will ever be able to say I didn't try EVERYTHING possible to at least slow it down.

So here are my reasons. First, for myself,  because I am worth it. Second, for my husband. Third, is for my kids.

NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be doing some of the things I do. I am a secretary, I burst out in song anytime I feel the urge, I highlight my hair regularly to hide the grey, I complain about my aches and pains, talk to myself, homeschool, blog and wear fuzzy slippers. All these things I never thought I would do as I got older nor do they paint a very good picture of me. As we age, I'm 44 now, we realize that when we were young maybe we weren't very realistic in the picture we painted of ourselves. These "quirky things" are what make me who I am whether I like it or not. I have to admit I kind of like who I've become over these years and I think my family doesn't mind too much either.